All my life, I was given a picture of God that subconsciously scared me. I say subconsciously because I was never really aware of the fact. I was told that God is love, and that He cared for me, but I always had a healthy fear of Him. The realization I've had, mainly because of the pain and fear in my life becoming so great, is that I figured if drugs and alcohol didn't kill me, God would. How could I think this? It stems from the majority of the theology preached at church and in families summarized as "you either love God, or He'll destroy you with fire, possibly for eternity". We say that God will do it with tears in His eyes, but justice requires it. Yes, I believe sinners will one day be destroyed, but not at the hands of our gracious God. It's this truth about God that has changed my life.

God does not justify His righteousness by losing unrepentant sinners to the natural consequences of them breaking away from His life source. No no no, that isn't justice. Oh, it's earthly justice, the likes that fills our prisons and puts to death murderers, but this has no resemblance to God's justice. Imagine if we could convince all the criminals in the world that the course of actions they have taken were actually wrong, and turned them into contributing members of society, not just because they wanted freedom, but because they agreed that being self-centered, egotistical, and self-serving was wrong. We integrated them back into our social structure where they became the epitome of loving citizens, role-models for our children, and public servants who cherished their positions. That would be real justice. There is no justice in locking criminals away, and putting to death sinners. That's an emergency measure required to keep our world safe, but let's not call it justice! Calling that justice is an insult to the term, and a negative reflection on the God who created the concept.

I was an alcoholic, drug addict, and a criminal. I hated everyone and everything, I was angry at the world, and I thought the only way to survive on this planet was to take take take. Looking out for number one was the only thing I ever cared about. My probation officers, court counsellors, and the police all suggested justice be served. It was jail, bail supervision, and curfews that were administrated. Earthly justice was served, but it did nothing to change my heart, my life, or my perspective. Then one day, Jesus Christ walked by in the form of a certain Seventh-day Adventist theologian and The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. My eyes were opened. I clung in awe to the God I never knew existed, and I realized, that I wanted to be like Him! I started worshipping Him like a rock star, and studying everything I could get my hands on - anything, everything, I just had to get closer to Jesus, because He became life itself to me. He introduced me to my Father, and I had the arms of the Holy Spirit wrapped around me. This... this is what justice REALLY is. My life changing experience is proof that God's justice vindicates HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS! God's justice changes sinners. Praise the Lord, that in His mercy, He administers real justice, which in turn, gives us the incentive to be just to others.

I look at the legal aspects of salvation now and see no resemblance of my understanding of God. Sure, it worked for a while, but inevitably, I would have rather smoked crack and heroin then stay in the so-called presence of a God who would have had to put me in the prisons of hell in the name of justice. Fortunately, I have found that God administrates justice by vindicating His righteousness by taking self-centered sinners like me and convincing us that doing what is right because it is right really makes sense! WOW! I'm so in love with God... I mean, how could you not be?

Legality is a tool. It's not a solution.