I was taught to receive appreciation with grace from my friend Nafez Assailey. He was a member of a Palestinian team who I had invited to Switzerland for training in non-violent communication at  time when security  precautions made training of mixed groups of Palestinians and Israelis impossible in either of their own countries. At the end of the workshop, Nafez came up to me. "This training will be very valuable for us in working for peace in our country," he acknowledged. "I would like to thank you in a way that we Sufi Muslims do when we want to express special appreciation for something." Locking his thumb onto mine, he looked me in the eye and said, "I kiss the God in you that allows you to give us what you did." He then kissed my hand. Nafez's expression of gratitude showed me a different way to receive appreciation.
 

Usually it is received from one of two polar positions. At one end is egotism: believing ourselves to be superior because we've been appreciated. At the other extreme is false humility, denying the importance of the appreciation by shrugging it off: "Oh it was nothing." Nafez showed me that I could receive appreciation joyfully, in awareness that God has given everyone the power to enrich the lives of others. If I am aware that it is this power to enrich  life for others, then I may avoid both the ego trap and false humility. Golda Meir, when she was the Israeli prime minister, once chided one of her ministers: "Don't be so humble, you're not that great." - Marshall  B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Social justice activist, Dorothy Day once said, "The greatest challenge of the day is how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each of us." Its the beginning of a new year and many of us are making out our resolution list. Can you imagine if we all had a heart revolution resolution? What would that look like? The Babemba ethnic group of South Africa has a kindness ritual that goes like this: When a member of the tribe acts irresponsibly or unjustly, all work in the village ceases. This person is asked to sit alone in the middle of the village where everyone forms a circle around the accused.  Do they pick them apart and proclaim their guilt? Do they point out their faults for all to hear?

One by one, each villager gets their chance to approach the accused and instead of berating or chastising - they sing their praises.  Sometimes it takes several days before each villager has had a chance to speak of the offender's virtues, talents, and past accomplishments in detailed length. Once all villagers have said their affirmations there is a great celebration over accepting the offender back into the community. This is  the sort of heart revolution Paul spoke of in Galatians 5, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."  May the new year bring compassion and kindness into our hearts that we might extend it to others. - S.N. Belmonte

 Through the years I’ve sat through and participated in dozens of plays that retell the story of Jesus’ birth. Last year, both of our boys were shepherds. Some churches even bring in real camels and donkeys! If you attend the Christmas program held at the Crystal Cathedral you will even see angels flying from the ceiling announcing to the shepherds the great good news. And, I’ve heard countless sermons that movingly tell the story of Joseph and Mary searching for a room.

Everywhere you look these days there are manger scenes, angels, and shepherds. In fact, it seems that this year I’ve heard more “religious” Christmas songs played by secular radio stations than ever before. While checking out of “Target” a few days ago I listened to the words blasted out for the entire store of Christians, non-Christians and atheists alike: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing, glory to the new born King…”

 

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:19,20.  In light of peace agreements and the power of reconciliation, there are few stories in American history that spotlight a leader who chose to heed the method of peace rather than war.  Revisionist historian, James Juhnke recounts such a story. He writes: In 1799, John Adams was the second president of the United States at a time when the U.S. almost went to war against France. George Washington had come out of retirement to organize the Army in a war against France.

France and England, already at war with each other, were interfering with our ships. We sent over some diplomats to claim our rights, and the French asked for a bribe before even talking with the U.S. diplomats. This was a great insult to American pride...

We have all fallen short of the glory of God; we have all failed our loved ones; we have all failed ourselves. It’s not easy to pick up the pieces, but there is good news. God will take all the pieces and turn them into a beautiful tapestry—if we are faithful to wait on him. That’s the hard part.  Living in the fiery furnace every day as a result of the backwash of our sin is never easy.

But the cross wasn’t easy for Jesus. In the fire we lose a part of ourselves that should have been burned away long ago. In the fire we experience pain, hopelessness, rejection, shame, fear and loneliness. But God will take each of these strong emotions and turn them into a new life where compassion, love, grace, faith, and hope take on new meaning if we wait on him...