The God In You

I was taught to receive appreciation with grace from my friend Nafez Assailey. He was a member of a Palestinian team who I had invited to Switzerland for training in non-violent communication at  time when security  precautions made training of mixed groups of Palestinians and Israelis impossible in either of their own countries. At the end of the workshop, Nafez came up to me. "This training will be very valuable for us in working for peace in our country," he acknowledged. "I would like to thank you in a way that we Sufi Muslims do when we want to express special appreciation for something." Locking his thumb onto mine, he looked me in the eye and said, "I kiss the God in you that allows you to give us what you did." He then kissed my hand. Nafez's expression of gratitude showed me a different way to receive appreciation.
 

Usually it is received from one of two polar positions. At one end is egotism: believing ourselves to be superior because we've been appreciated. At the other extreme is false humility, denying the importance of the appreciation by shrugging it off: "Oh it was nothing." Nafez showed me that I could receive appreciation joyfully, in awareness that God has given everyone the power to enrich the lives of others. If I am aware that it is this power to enrich  life for others, then I may avoid both the ego trap and false humility. Golda Meir, when she was the Israeli prime minister, once chided one of her ministers: "Don't be so humble, you're not that great." - Marshall  B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.