Numb

He was an extremely intelligent boy whose inquisitive temperment often landed him in trouble.  He was told he was not as smart as his brother or sister and that he'd end up as bum on the street if he didn't shape up.  Often he heard things from his parents like, "You're so lazy. When are you going to do something right for a change?  All you do is embarrass us!  You better straighten up and quit causing so much trouble all the time."   

From the time he was in the first grade, he excelled in all subjects so often out of boredom, his exuberance distracted other students and irritated the teacher.  Over time, he became labled as a "trouble maker." "a pain" and even worse, a "dummy."  Eventually he began to believe the labels his parents, peers and teachers put on him and one day just gave up.  He decided he'd never be good enough so he took their advice and disappeared, never to be seen again.  Words have the power of life and death so don't think for one moment what you say is no biggy.  It is. All of it. 

Linkin' Park composed a song that describes this boy's heart and from where his pain ebbed - his parent's negative picture of their son. They write:

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.

Can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
is falling apart right in front of you.

[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow],
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow,just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take.

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.

And I know
I may end up failing too

But I know you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you." **

What parent doesn't want their child to succeed?  But its common for us who have children to apply pressure where understanding is needed; control where freedom weeps; and criticism where unconditional love is begging to be expressed. Like the lyrics say, "you were just like me with someone disappointed in you" it is true, the parents are only regurgitating that which they themselves feasted upon as youngsters.  How can an adult share the good news about a loving God if he or she was taught that God is judgemental and harsh?

This idea that God is love is not just a nice idea good for Christians to talk about at potluck - it is crucial to life eternal.  Our picture of God (or our parents, children, or ourselves) affects our thoughts; those thoughts affect our emotions/feelings and those give way to behavior which can only mean one thing: if your picture of God, parents, children, or yourself is warped, imagine what happens to the rest of this trolley car - train wreck waiting to happen!  Our brokeness can only come from one place: a spiritual deficit. "It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!" Romans 9 is very clear on what brings life to a weary soul - God's love!

And we are not without a Savior who is bent on setting us free, "It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. When the Message we preached came to you, it wasn't just words. Something happened in you. The Holy Spirit put steel in your convictions." !Thessalonians.  He has great plans for our lives, each of us and that is the truth. Any message that preaches or teaches that God is expecting you to change before you can come to Him is demonic for it is written, "Or do you think lightly of he riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" Romans 2:4 NAS God is lovingkindness and forgiveness personified!

**If you want to see the video, "Numb" by Linkin' Park, click here.