Pass the Conspiracy Please

Every time I turn around I hear a new conspiracy theory dealing with Jesus being married to Mary Magdelene or about that annoying pyramid eye on our money being a secret sign to a secret society who live in a secret mountain somewhere..well, ummm, secret.

I have a friend who is an expert on conspiracy theories.  He can tell you what is going on in the Vatican, the Freemason's secret sign and the truth about Roswald all in one breath - I'm not kidding.  While I find talking to him fascinating, he also knows that I find most of it fear-based and a waste of time okay, I have to admit, I like to spend a little bit of time talking about it.  We have the usual round about of why such information is useful and also why it can be gravely dangerous. Of course we bow out of each discussion gracefully and respectfully yet I sense that each of us has so much more to say, you know, as if we secretly want the last word that will bring all such dialogue finally to an end with the "other one" admitting their mistake. No such luck.

Honestly though, I think we both really just want the truth once and for all and don't want to believe such dark and evil things exist - but they do. I will end now with the same question I always end with him: "If it is all true - then what?"  If the government really is planning a megaplot to destroy everyone who double-parks and our money is evil then what?  What do we do with that?  How about this, what if Jesus really was married? Would that change much? What if the garden of Eden story was an allegory and the "Lord of the Rings" was based on true events?  Before I have Bible literalists crying blasphemy and J.R. Tolkeinites banging down my door, let me make it very clear that these questions are just questions and you are allowed to scream and shout in disgust.

My point is this, if you found out the truth about everything and could know everyone's motives, then what? I know this much, that kind of knowledge would either scare you to death or set you free.